<\/p>\n
I remember the good times,<\/p>\n
feeling safe in my father\u2019s<\/p>\n
strong hands,<\/p>\n
as he lifts me<\/p>\n
to the sky<\/p>\n
and back<\/p>\n
over<\/p>\n
and over<\/p>\n
and over<\/p>\n
again<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
He is tired now,<\/p>\n
a little sweaty,<\/p>\n
as he sits in his favorite lawn chair<\/p>\n
holding a cold beer<\/p>\n
and making<\/p>\n
a face at me<\/p>\n
with one eye closed<\/p>\n
and the corner<\/p>\n
of his mouth<\/p>\n
turned down<\/p>\n
like Popeye\u2019s<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
He doesn\u2019t have<\/p>\n
a tattoo of an anchor<\/p>\n
on his arm<\/p>\n
but he could<\/p>\n
and it would fit<\/p>\n
right in<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
He met my mother<\/p>\n
on a bus<\/p>\n
and they laughed<\/p>\n
and laughed<\/p>\n
for ten miles<\/p>\n
past his stop<\/p>\n
until he got out at hers<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
He smiled and it was all over for her<\/p>\n
He\u2019s a good dad,<\/p>\n
when he feels right,<\/p>\n
but sometimes<\/p>\n
the dark places<\/p>\n
in his heart<\/p>\n
ooze to the surface<\/p>\n
and make his<\/p>\n
eyes seem distant<\/p>\n
and a little scared,<\/p>\n
like a small child<\/p>\n
left alone<\/p>\n
in the dark<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
He keeps it together<\/p>\n
for what I know now<\/p>\n
is eternity<\/p>\n
for someone like him<\/p>\n
who meets the devil<\/p>\n
every day<\/p>\n
even though he\u2019s<\/p>\n
done nothing wrong<\/p>\n
except be himself<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I am away when it happens,<\/p>\n
at the beach as it turns out,<\/p>\n
enjoying time in the sun kissed water<\/p>\n
and frolicking with my teenage friends<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
He takes the slim black revolver<\/p>\n
he keeps hidden in his closet<\/p>\n
and places it on the bed<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I am running along a stretch of sand<\/p>\n
leaping to catch a Frisbee that spins inches<\/p>\n
away from my outstretched fingers<\/p>\n
and falls onto the highest spot<\/p>\n
to which the tide has crept<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
He takes out a notepad<\/p>\n
and in his perfect handwriting<\/p>\n
tells us that he loves us<\/p>\n
and that it\u2019s not our fault<\/p>\n
and that there is nothing<\/p>\n
Any of us could have said or done<\/p>\n
and that it\u2019s just a hole<\/p>\n
inside of him<\/p>\n
that can never be filled<\/p>\n
and that grows larger<\/p>\n
every day<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
until today<\/p>\n
when it is<\/p>\n
bigger than him<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I sit with my friends<\/p>\n
around a beach camp fire<\/p>\n
holding my hands out<\/p>\n
to feel the warm air<\/p>\n
flow through my whole body<\/p>\n
as my friends toast<\/p>\n
marshmallows and hotdogs<\/p>\n
on improvised skewers<\/p>\n
made from hangers<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
His note finished,<\/p>\n
he picks up the gun<\/p>\n
and almost daintily<\/p>\n
holds it up to his temple<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
There is no one else<\/p>\n
in the house<\/p>\n
and the cool air<\/p>\n
from the wall unit<\/p>\n
moves the curtains ever so slightly<\/p>\n
as his finger caresses<\/p>\n
the trigger<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
And<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Then<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Nothing<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
For a long time afterwards<\/p>\n
I am numb<\/p>\n
and even now<\/p>\n
years later<\/p>\n
I meet people<\/p>\n
who tell me what<\/p>\n
a nice guy my father was<\/p>\n
and I always focus on<\/p>\n
the past tense, the \u201cwas\u201d,<\/p>\n
because it highlights<\/p>\n
so much<\/p>\n
the fact<\/p>\n
that he really is gone<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I try in my own way<\/p>\n
to tell his story<\/p>\n
to keep him alive<\/p>\n
to stop some other kids<\/p>\n
from having their own life torn away<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I am no preacher<\/p>\n
but if the story I tell<\/p>\n
can help someone<\/p>\n
I don\u2019t know<\/p>\n
get help in time<\/p>\n
well then<\/p>\n
maybe he didn\u2019t die in vain<\/p>\n
and maybe there is some odd kind of purpose<\/p>\n
to the universe<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I meet experts<\/p>\n
who tell me<\/p>\n
that suicide<\/p>\n
can happen<\/p>\n
to any family<\/p>\n
in any town<\/p>\n
at any time<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
And that<\/p>\n
early recognition<\/p>\n
is the best way<\/p>\n
To fight back<\/p>\n
the scourge<\/p>\n
and that<\/p>\n
by simply<\/p>\n
sharing<\/p>\n
my family\u2019s story<\/p>\n
I am keeping<\/p>\n
the promise<\/p>\n
I made to my Dad<\/p>\n
after he died<\/p>\n
that I would<\/p>\n
do everything<\/p>\n
I could<\/p>\n
to help<\/p>\n
save a life<\/p>\n
and a child\u2019s heart<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I speak one-on-one<\/p>\n
and in auditoriums<\/p>\n
filled to the rafters<\/p>\n
and in every venue<\/p>\n
I do my best<\/p>\n
to plainly<\/p>\n
explain that<\/p>\n
there are always signs,<\/p>\n
little things,<\/p>\n
that let us know<\/p>\n
that something<\/p>\n
is off kilter<\/p>\n
and that if we<\/p>\n
don\u2019t ignore them<\/p>\n
we do<\/p>\n
have a fighting chance<\/p>\n
to stop<\/p>\n
the darkness<\/p>\n
from winning<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
The promise I made<\/p>\n
can never be<\/p>\n
completely kept<\/p>\n
until, I too, am dust<\/p>\n
and when that happens,<\/p>\n
and I join my father,<\/p>\n
I know that<\/p>\n
he will finally<\/p>\n
be at peace<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
So thank you<\/p>\n
for listening<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I learn as much<\/p>\n
from you<\/p>\n
as you can possibly<\/p>\n
learn from me<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
So remember<\/p>\n
to kiss and hug<\/p>\n
your loved ones<\/p>\n
like it will be<\/p>\n
the last time you see them<\/p>\n
because, well,<\/p>\n
you never know<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I\u2019ll hang around<\/p>\n
for a few minutes<\/p>\n
to chat with any<\/p>\n
of you<\/p>\n
who wants<\/p>\n
to come up<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Goodnight<\/p>\n
and be safe<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
We\u2019re very pleased to announce the results of our special Teen Zine Writing Contest! The theme was TEEN ADVOCACY. We received some amazing submissions, and we have here our top three winners. Thank you very much to everyone who participated!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
3rd Place “The Promise” by Julia Fong, age 14 I remember the good times, feeling safe in my father\u2019s strong hands, as he lifts me to the sky and back over and over and over again He is tired now, a little sweaty, as he sits in his […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":20,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[117,28],"tags":[92],"class_list":["post-5242","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-opinion","category-writing","tag-contest"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/s5ZwbD-fong","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2987,"url":"https:\/\/pasadena-library.net\/teens\/2016\/teen-feature-an-interview-with-julia-see\/","url_meta":{"origin":5242,"position":0},"title":"Teen Feature: an interview with Julia See","author":"Jane Gov","date":"July 7, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Teen Advisory Board Seniors JULIA SEE is an accomplished artist, student, and volunteer. She designed the current TAB logo (which are on all the t-shirts), filled in as a judge for the annual One City One Story Art Contest, and played a character in the murder mystery. She\u2019s also a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Agendas & News"","block_context":{"text":"Agendas & News","link":"https:\/\/pasadena-library.net\/teens\/category\/agendas-news\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/pasadena-library.net\/teens\/wp-content\/blogs.dir\/18\/files\/sites\/18\/2015\/07\/Gintamawkshp2.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/pasadena-library.net\/teens\/wp-content\/blogs.dir\/18\/files\/sites\/18\/2015\/07\/Gintamawkshp2.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/pasadena-library.net\/teens\/wp-content\/blogs.dir\/18\/files\/sites\/18\/2015\/07\/Gintamawkshp2.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1286,"url":"https:\/\/pasadena-library.net\/teens\/2014\/teen-advisory-board-october-meeting\/","url_meta":{"origin":5242,"position":1},"title":"Teen Advisory Board — October meeting","author":"Jane Gov","date":"October 24, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Teen Advisory Board October 18, 2014 TAB members present: \u00a0Haneen, Julia, Chris, Kara, Michelle; absent: Sarah, Jerry, Ben \u00a0 AGENDA The Fair - Nov. 15 Chris will be in charge of the Demo Area- specifically the Little Bits Julia will oversee metal etching Michelle will oversee circuits\/light up cards Teen\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Agendas & News"","block_context":{"text":"Agendas & News","link":"https:\/\/pasadena-library.net\/teens\/category\/agendas-news\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1739,"url":"https:\/\/pasadena-library.net\/teens\/2015\/teen-advisory-board-april-2015\/","url_meta":{"origin":5242,"position":2},"title":"Teen Advisory Board — April 2015","author":"Jane Gov","date":"April 21, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Teen Advisory Board April 18, 2015 Present: \u00a0Chris, Haneen, Nathan, Madison, Julia \u00a0 AGENDA Announcements: We got the new zine! (Issue 2) Pasadena Loves YA bookmarks -- please distribute\u00a0to your schools Summer Reading Challenge prizes -- order books; look at last year's order forms and\u00a0assemble order for this year (Nathan\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Agendas & News"","block_context":{"text":"Agendas & News","link":"https:\/\/pasadena-library.net\/teens\/category\/agendas-news\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Just a teaser... Photo from YA Book Council at yabookcouncil.com","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/pasadena-library.net\/teens\/wp-content\/blogs.dir\/18\/files\/sites\/18\/2015\/04\/hp-teaser.png?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":2205,"url":"https:\/\/pasadena-library.net\/teens\/2015\/the-heir-teen-review\/","url_meta":{"origin":5242,"position":3},"title":"The Heir — teen review","author":"Teen Blogger","date":"August 27, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"review by Julia, teen reviewer The Heir by Kiera Cass Eadlyn is nothing like America. She irritates me a bit because. . .(you'll find out if you read the novel). I was just expecting something more fast paced. There was no major conflict or climax. I just want something with\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Teen Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Teen Reviews","link":"https:\/\/pasadena-library.net\/teens\/category\/teen-reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"22918050","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/d.gr-assets.com\/books\/1422993526l\/22918050.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":2894,"url":"https:\/\/pasadena-library.net\/teens\/2016\/teen-advisory-board-april-2016\/","url_meta":{"origin":5242,"position":4},"title":"Teen Advisory Board — April 2016","author":"Jane Gov","date":"April 21, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Teen Advisory Board 4\/16\/2016 Present: Bella, Chris, Jane L, Julia, Kara, Lauren, Madison, Maya, Nathan Agenda: New member! Forbidden Island Review TAB profiles for Teen Zine Senior TAB interviews (Nathan & Julia) MaKey MaKey interview (Chris & Nathan) The Teen Advisory Board welcomed new member Jane Lee to the team!\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Agendas & News"","block_context":{"text":"Agendas & News","link":"https:\/\/pasadena-library.net\/teens\/category\/agendas-news\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Photo Apr 16, 4 47 42 PM","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/pasadena-library.net\/teens\/wp-content\/blogs.dir\/18\/files\/sites\/18\/2016\/04\/Photo-Apr-16-4-47-42-PM-898x1024.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/pasadena-library.net\/teens\/wp-content\/blogs.dir\/18\/files\/sites\/18\/2016\/04\/Photo-Apr-16-4-47-42-PM-898x1024.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/pasadena-library.net\/teens\/wp-content\/blogs.dir\/18\/files\/sites\/18\/2016\/04\/Photo-Apr-16-4-47-42-PM-898x1024.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/pasadena-library.net\/teens\/wp-content\/blogs.dir\/18\/files\/sites\/18\/2016\/04\/Photo-Apr-16-4-47-42-PM-898x1024.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":2798,"url":"https:\/\/pasadena-library.net\/teens\/2016\/teen-advisory-board-march-2016\/","url_meta":{"origin":5242,"position":5},"title":"Teen Advisory Board — March 2016","author":"Jane Gov","date":"March 29, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Teen Advisory Board \u00a03\/20\/2016 Present: Bella, Cady, Chris, Haneen, Julia, Kara, Lauren, Madison, Maya, Meep \u00a0 The Teen Advisory Board has a new logo, designed by TAB member Julia See. The team previously voted on several different designs, but this one--with the obvious nod to books and art--attracted the most\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Agendas & News"","block_context":{"text":"Agendas & News","link":"https:\/\/pasadena-library.net\/teens\/category\/agendas-news\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"TAB logo 2016; designed by Julia See","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/pasadena-library.net\/teens\/wp-content\/blogs.dir\/18\/files\/sites\/18\/2016\/03\/tab_tshirt_back-1024x460.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/pasadena-library.net\/teens\/wp-content\/blogs.dir\/18\/files\/sites\/18\/2016\/03\/tab_tshirt_back-1024x460.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/pasadena-library.net\/teens\/wp-content\/blogs.dir\/18\/files\/sites\/18\/2016\/03\/tab_tshirt_back-1024x460.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/pasadena-library.net\/teens\/wp-content\/blogs.dir\/18\/files\/sites\/18\/2016\/03\/tab_tshirt_back-1024x460.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/pasadena-library.net\/teens\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5242","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/pasadena-library.net\/teens\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/pasadena-library.net\/teens\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pasadena-library.net\/teens\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/20"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pasadena-library.net\/teens\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5242"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/pasadena-library.net\/teens\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5242\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5247,"href":"https:\/\/pasadena-library.net\/teens\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5242\/revisions\/5247"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/pasadena-library.net\/teens\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5242"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pasadena-library.net\/teens\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5242"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pasadena-library.net\/teens\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5242"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}